River and the Time
by Arymura
Summary: When all you have is nothing. One unattainable goal is what keeps alive the will to move on.


River keeps traveling through the worlds, lost and incomplete.

She could simply choose an isolated place between the thousands of planets and cry until she died of the lack of her lover, while he lived all those adventures that never belonged to her.

She had nothing; her parents had been taken by the Angels, there was no family nor friends awaiting for her. The only thing left for her was to wander alone through the Universe, chasing after her Loving Doctor. The man for who she was born, who she was programmed to kill. Love made her give him her all; her heart, her regenerations and, one day, her life.

But time doesn't want them together, and who could fight Time? The Silence is nothing compared to it. Time will never be your friend, it might help you sometimes, but to what cost?

River keeps looking for clues of the Doctor, day after day, she keeps wondering if he will recognize her, or love her again? Or this new Doctor has forgotten her? Would it be a really new Doctor or one of those who were already there before she disappeared?

So many questions and the answer of all are with him.

Amongst all the pain she has ever felt, amongst shots, tortures and cuts, the worst pain was the uncertainty about her love being answered.

And little she knows that in their last encounter, he will not recognize her, the indifference will be the only present feeling inside that library. Little she knows that for him seeing her end, while handcuffed in there, powerless; he will never be able to be entirely by her side, always seeing that moment in her, the moment where everything changed, in which he had to face what he hates the most: death in front of his eyes.

River was gone there to leave a incognita, an uncertainty of if they would meet again, about who she was and why he cared so much about her, even though he had never seen her before.

In a given moment, there was a woman that would change her life, and after that, only an empty shell, who took the decision for both of their lives, without consulting him, and made all on its own...

A scene that he would never forget, and that would hurt even more in his next regenaration.

She still did not know why he pulled away, but feels it is somewhat her fault, and for that reason, keeps chasing each lead in the universe about the Doctor, hoping to find him again to enjoy everything she can before it crumbles down.

And bravely she keeps looking for adventures to complete herself while she does not find her Doctor. But the feeling of being incomplete never stops, not biggest jewelry in the world, not all the money or adventures of the universe could fill the void left by him.

And with each encounter, it gets harder to control herself by his side, to control the will of being on his arms, of kissing him again, of being his woman again, but not always he recognizes her, not always he feels the same way about her.

It is like the torture the Silence put her through never ended. In every new meeting she needed to seduce him again, needed to prove that she loves him every minute she is by his side, so, who knows, one day, he reacts back with any sparkle of love.

There were days in which River had all of him, his adventures and attention and, maybe, even his affection. But she never had the total sure about his love, always knew there was something she had done wrong in the past or in the future, something that shone in his eyes every time their gaze meet. Despite it barely happened.

Their meetings now were rarer and rarer, how many times had she thought that she could not be with him because she was made this way, with so many scars in her soul, wounds so deep that drew her away from everyone.

Her only desire in the world will never be accomplished. The thing she was born, trained, loved and gave her all for will never be hers; not even for a minute the void in her chest will be fully fulfilled. Either way, she will keep wandering after his trail; until her very last days, her last thought will be about him, because Time can take all, her youth, her will to live, but it was incapable of taking love.


End file.
